NEW YORK, March 25 — A breakup almost never happens out of the blue. Warning signs appear long before the split, sometimes years in advance, but you might not spot them, unless you can recognise and decipher them.
According to a German-Swiss study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, the decline of a relationship tends to follow a very specific two-phase pattern.
To conduct their study, researchers from the Johannes Gutenberg University Mainz and the University of Bern analyzed data from four major studies conducted in Germany, Australia, the United Kingdom and the Netherlands.
These so-called WEIRD (Western, Educated, Industrialized, Rich and Democratic) countries offer complete freedom of relationship status, thus ensuring relevant results.
A total of 11,295 people were studied, comparing couples who had separated with those who had stayed together.
The scientists scrutinised these relationships over periods ranging from 12 to 21 years, seeking to understand the precise moment when a relationship tips over into the phase of decline that leads to a split.
Although it is known that romantic satisfaction tends to decrease over the years—particularly after the first decade—the study reveals a more subtle pattern. In fact, the deterioration of a relationship follows two stages.
First comes a phase of discreet decline, sometimes spread over several years. Then, about one to two years before the breakup, a tipping point is reached that precipitates the relationship breakdown.
This terminal phase, lasting 7 to 28 months, often marks the beginning of the end.
Interestingly, the two partners do not experience this deterioration in the same way. The person who makes the decision to leave generally feels dissatisfaction with their romantic situation much earlier.
For the other person, meanwhile, the realization is often sudden and late, making the breakup feel sudden and shocking.
“Partners pass through various phases. They do not normally separate from one day to the next, and the way these phases impact on the two partners differs,” says study coauthor, Janina Bühler, quoted in a news release.
But identifying the warning signs makes it possible to intervene in time. All too often, couples only seek help when their relationship is already in its terminal phase, making any reconciliation difficult.
Spotting these relationship dynamics early on offers a chance to improve communication and, perhaps, avoid separation. So if something is bothering you in your relationship, it is best to talk about it now to prevent the situation from reaching the point of no return. — ETX Studio